Best known for his ironic and well plotted novels examining class, turn of the twentieth century English novelist Edward Morgan Forster once said, “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us” and in October 2008 this is precisely what my family and I were forced to do.
- I let go of my home when HBOS forced its sale
- I let go of our livelihood when my husband’s business bank went into administration,
- I let go of my financial future when I discovered a million pounds worth of unsecured debt.
As a result of this,
- I let go of my pride in always having paid my way,
- I let go of the friends who could not endure the knowledge of our indebtedness and
- I let go of any hope of ever affecting a recovery.
In the years that followed I lost, my financial reputation, my hair and my confidence and the life which was waiting for me definitely was not the one I would ever have chosen.
Over the past three months alone I have also let go of,
- My car under the terms of voluntary surrender
- Our Spanish apartment now it has been seized by the bank and,
- A fair amount of my time now my eighty six year old mother has become increasingly dependent on me.
However, while “letting go” has naturally been fraught with grief for I life I no longer have, the life which was waiting for me has also delivered some unexpected rewards.
- The kindness shown by those who continue to come to my aid has been nothing short of astounding
- The written word in the form of my comments and my blog has not only given me access to expertise but provided me with the voice I longed for and,
- The product of my hard work, focus and bloody minded determination has not only encouraged infamous banking giants and their regulators to sit up and take notice but from time to time it has even made them squirm!
Retired four star general and American statesman Colin Luther Powell once said, “A dream does not become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work” and although I continue to wait, without patience, for my un-redacted HBOS file there are I now days when I dare to dream all that will be required of me to let go of in the future is the mortgage shortfall debt these infamous banksters chose to create and saddle me with over the past five excruciating years.
This is the life I have planned for and this is the life I sincerely hope is waiting for me.